Update your organization’s nondiscrimination policies to prohibit discrimination and harassment on the basis of “family or relationship structure.” Large organizations including JP Morgan Chase have led the way in doing this. Non-discrimination protections codified into the employer’s policies assure job applicants and employees that they will be treated equally and that their protected identities will not be a liability on the job. This clarity supports the recruitment and retention of talent as well as the workforce’s understanding of expectations, which in turn creates greater legal and social safety for members of the group that’s being protected to be open about who they are.

There is significant precedent for adding identities to employee handbooks ahead of mandatory legislation, as was the case with transgender identity for many years. We recommend that you follow this up by hosting a panel where you bring external expert speakers in to help educate people about this aspect of family and relationship diversity, and ask your existing DEI training vendor if they’re including family and relationship structure in their training; if not, bringing in an expert to help create a short module or example to integrate into your existing DEI learning materials.

Model language for employee handbook or code of conduct: It is the policy of the Company to provide equal employment opportunities to all employees and employment applicants without regard to unlawful considerations of race, religion, creed, color, national origin, sex, pregnancy, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, ancestry, physical or mental disability, genetic information, marital status, family or relationship structure, or any other classification protected by applicable local, state or federal laws. This policy prohibits unlawful discrimination based on the perception that anyone has any of those characteristics, or is associated with a person who has or is perceived as having any of those characteristics. This policy applies to all aspects of employment, including, but not limited to, hiring, job assignment, working conditions, compensation, promotion, benefits, scheduling, training, discipline and termination.

Model language for harassment: Harassment or intimidation of a client, staff person, or guest because of that person’s race, age, color, sex, sexual orientation, national origin, physical or mental disability, religion, or family or relationship structure is specifically prohibited and may be grounds for termination. Harassment and intimidation includes abusive, foul, or threatening language or behavior. [Org/nonprofit] is committed to maintaining a workplace that is free of any such harassment and will not tolerate discrimination against staff members, volunteers, or agency clients.

Model language for hiring: [Organization] is committed to diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. The excellence of the organization requires an environment in which the diverse community of employees are welcome and included. Successful candidates will demonstrate knowledge and skill related to ensuring equity and inclusion in the activities of their position. [Organization] is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer. All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, family and relationship structure, national origin, disability, age, or protected veteran status.

We encourage you to bring in external expert speakers to help bring visibility to this topic, reducing stigma and normalizing relationship structure diversity without putting your own employees on the spot.

🎤 Looking for speakers? OPEN can help connect your workplace with advocates, researchers, and other expects. Reach out to us at openworkplaces@open-love.org

If your time and resources are limiteb, we recommend you prioritize educating employees who work in Human Resources, Employment Legal, and in management positions.

Ask your existing DEI training vendor [if applicable] whether they’re including family and relationship structure in their training. If not, we can connect you with workforce training experts who can help create a short module or example to integrate into your existing DEI learning materials.

We also encourage you to use these free resources:

Understanding and Advocating for Consensual Non-Monogamy - a short presentation on the history of monogamy and contemporary efforts to advocate for rights for consensually non-monogamous people created by Lily Lamboy of the Modern Family Institute

Deconstructing the Fairytale - a workplace-friendly guided workshop on the definition and impact of mononormativity by Mariska Jo

Polyamory 101 - a workplace-friendly introduction to polyamory key terms and FAQs created by Kristen Guy (AirBnB).

This could either be a new stand-alone group or might be appropriately placed under the umbrella of an existing LGBTQ+ organization or an existing group concerning family structures (e.g. many organizations have groups for parents). Organizations like Microsoft and Dell have successfully created sub-groups to support consensually nonmonogamous employees.

Use inclusive language, such as “partner(s)” instead of “spouse.” “Spouse” is a term only used for married partners; because non-monogamous committed partners cannot legally marry, this term can feel exclusionary.

Make clear that there are opportunities for non-monogamous employees to bring an additional chosen partner to important company events such as holiday parties. Or, if there is only space for each person to bring a +1, frame this as “bring a loved one of your choice” vs. “bring your partner or spouse.” This is also inclusive of single people who may want to bring a close friend or family member.

Acknowledge and participate in events like the Week of Visibility for Non-monogamy (celebrated July 15-21, 2024).

There is a growing ecosystem of non-profit organizations (including OPEN!) that research advocate for expanded rights for all families. These include the Modern Family Institute, the Chosen Family Law Center, and the Harvard Law School LGBTQ+ Advocacy Clinic. You can show support by matching employee contributions to these groups, inviting their leaders to speak to employees about this evolving rights landscape, and partnering with these organizations during Pride month and during the Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy.

Currently, most employers cover medical, dental, and vision insurance for full-time employees and their legal dependents, along with options to add a spouse or domestic partner to one’s plan. We suggest updating your Benefits policy to expand to an additional +1 or +2 partners or close family members. This could be subsidized by the organization, as is the case with children, spouses, and domestic partners, or it could simply be an option to add an additional subset of people at cost. This would be huge benefit for many in terms of accessing higher-quality care than they might via the open market exchange, and would not cost the company more; in fact, it may increase the pool of covered people, driving down overall risk and total costs for the organization.

Include an optional, anonymous demographic question asking about non-monogamous identity in your employee voice survey. This will allow you to collect sentiment data and see if it’s possible to identify specific needs within this group. Check out this resource created by the American Psychological Association Division 44 Committee on Consensual Non-monogamy about how to ask thoughtfully about relationship diversity on demographic forms.